'That Voice Inside Sometimes is the Most Powerful'

On Feb. 4, 2012, Daniel Giguere poured pills into his hand with the intention of taking his own life.

Giguere recalls sitting on his bathroom floor, "paralyzed," ready to end the pain that so many teenagers often endure: balancing schoolwork; worrying about college admissions; talking to a crush. 

But Giguere was also enduring pain that stemmed from a violent childhood that culminated in losing his father at the hands of his mother. In 2008, his mother shot and killed his father at their home during a domestic dispute while Giguere, then 14, and his younger brother, Jonathan, were also in the Vienna home. His mother was sentenced to eight years in prison for voluntary manslaughter. 

He had been battling depression ever since, an unknown fact to many of his friends and classmates. A senior at in Oakton, he had gained the respect of his school to become captain of the basketball team and president of the student body.

Before pouring that bottle of pills into his hand, he and his basketball team had to a rival school earlier that night. That loss combined with the "demons" that had long been haunting him led him to his lowest point, he said. 

"I just felt like I was holding all this stuff in because I thought it was weak to show your emotions. I was so worried about other people and the way they would think of me," Giguere said. 

It was Jonathan Giguere who saved Daniel from the suicide attempt. Knowing something was wrong, he called and texted Daniel over and over again until finally his older brother answered. 

The next day, Daniel Giguere posted a YouTube video exposing his fears about not being courageous. He flashed notecards to the camera listing all things he wished he had the courage to do: "shout my dream to the whole world even when others may laugh at me"; "control my emotions and not let them interfere with my faith"; and "defeat temptation even when I feel desperate and alone," to name a few.

Almost immediately, he began receiving messages of support and gratitude for his honesty. Friends and strangers began sharing their stories with him, finding courage from his expressed fear of it.  

"I just let it out and found that voice inside sometimes is the most powerful," Giguere said. "That video was silent and took maybe four hours to make. But the message was powerful. What I realized is you don't have to be the most talented or best athlete or smartest. People are really just looking for someone to be honest, and I think that enables other people to be open and honest. The response to those videos were unbelievable."

This summer, Bryan Gross, a 2011 graduate of Flint Hill School, encouraged Giguere to take what he did with that initial YouTube video and subsequent positive posts to his YouTube channel to a new level.

"I saw what kind of response he got with minimal effort on that first video, and then thought we could work hard move that viewer count from 5,000 to 20,000," Gross said. "We could even globalize it if we wanted to, and I don't think that's far-fetched. Regardless of someone's experience, however drastic, we can all relate. It's about positivity. Everybody has their downs, and we're trying to help people with that."

Together, with Jonathan Giguere and two other Flint Hill School alumni — Michael Kliska ('12) and Natasha Chadha ('10) — as well as various friends and family who have offered their assistance, they formed 1VoiceInside. 

The Movement

Giguere and his friends created 1VoiceInside as the first step in starting a larger movement that simply encourages individuality in a youth culture that often touts conformity. 

"We want to focus on the individual to spark a community movement. If every individual tries to live to their full potential and goes for their dreams, it'll inspire others," Giguere said. 

1VoiceInside will — today — on its website, the first of many that will focus on people working toward reaching their dreams. The group will continue to generate its own videos and written pieces, but wants others to join the movement with posts of their own — an extension of one of their slogans that read, "Don't follow the movement. Be the movement."

The group is spreading its message through various social media, with a Facebook page, Twitter feed, Tumblr blog and the website. They have also been handing out free wristbands and bumper stickers to promote today's video launch.

"I feel like what was cool about what [Daniel] did was he shared his story, he opened up and people embraced it. Through that I saw the power of a supportive community and the power of a positive message. In simple terms, that's really what we're trying to do, create that community," Kliska said. 

Starting a "movement" is purposeful word choice, Giguere said. They want people to think of 1VoiceInside's movement almost as a verb — to get up and move to improve your own life. 

"I say broken dreams lead to bigger ones. I wanted to be a Division I basketball player, but that isn't going to happen," said Giguere, , a Division III program. "Now I feel like 1VoiceInside could be a bigger dream. I want others to be able to put themselves out there and be vulnerable to find their path because it might be a different one than they thought."

They have a global aim, but have also already learned that reaching just one person means success. Chadha, now a core member of the movement, sent a message to Giguere after seeing his "courage video" to make sure he knew just that.

"I graduated two years ahead of him, so I didn't know him. I recognized him, but that's it," Chadha said. "I saw the video and reached out to him to let him know that the video was amazing and that it helped me with something I was going through. I wanted to make sure he knew that it didn't matter if a million people told him it was stupid because reaching one person meant he was doing something right."

The 1VoiceInside movement is beginning just before most of its core members head off to college — all at different schools. From Ohio to Boston to Connecticut to Blacksburg, they have committed to using their distance to spread the message to their new peers. Social media and various networking tools will allow them to keep in touch.

"It's almost better because then we have a wider reach," Kliska said. "It's not like we have this store you walk into, it's all online. We all have access to it at all times."

A Shared Past

Jonathan and Daniel Giguere have always dealt with their shared past differently. Daniel has always felt the need to be open about the obstacles he has confronted throughout his life. When he has stopped himself from sharing, the results have often been distastrous, just as they nearly were earlier this year.

Jonathan, a rising junior at Flint Hill School, is more reluctant to share his past with the public, finding solace in his own way.

"I'm not all for the publicity, but I came around. I realized it's a movement to help people, a positive thing. I'm really into the idea of spreading this message and helping a lot of people," Jonathan Giguere said. "I've never felt like I needed to share my personal past, but I found that if it's what Daniel needs, then I can, I should, get behind that."

Jonathan Giguere quickly became a key member of 1VoiceInside, with his straightforwardness and practicality balancing out the overflow of ideas from his brother and Gross. 

"I might have told Daniel to take this to another level, but when I was at his house forming ideas, Jonathan helped us out a lot," Gross said. "He helped us form concrete ideas on how to get it to the next level."

1VoiceInside is currently just looking for "content to inspire," with no clear plans to become neither a nonprofit nor a for-profit organization. The video releasing today is meant to clarify their mission to inspire people to both embrace their individuality and create their own content for the site to build a community.

Most of all, Giguere wants those who follow the 1VoiceInside movement to understand they do have control over their own life even if they have been dealt a bad hand.

"So many people are trying to live perfectly. Life is not going to be perfect. I think it's not trying to live the cleanest life while minimizing mistakes, it's about living the most meaningful," Giguere said. "Don't be slaves to circumstance. You can't blame your circumstances because life is going to keep moving without you. You have to be a part of that movement."

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