.

What's in a Name?

A lot of laughs for very juvenile parents, it turns out ...

Vienna Youth Soccer is the most unexpectedly hilarious thing I've experienced in this area since I dined at a quirky little well-reviewed restaurant on Route 123 and was told by the server, "We have four specials tonight ... I'll tell you about two of them."

My daughter has now been part of a VYS team for four seasons and for each of the seasons that she’s played, her team has worn a different color T-shirt. As a group, the girls come up with a name based on this color — so in the past, they’ve been the Red Dragons, the Blue Dolphins and the Yellow Bees. I know … "Awwww," right?  

And this season, they’re purple. After considering and rejecting several names such as Purple Seahorses, Purple People Eaters, Purple Piranhas and Purple Poisonous Snakes at the first team meeting, they settled on … wait for it … the Big Purple Balls.

I don’t know if the other team parents are enjoying this as much as we are, but we find it makes going to the games a lot more interesting. For instance, I notice the team parents inevitably truncate the name. There are a lot of cheers of simply, "Go Purple!"

Last weekend, my daughter raced into the house after her game screaming, “Mom! The Big Purple Balls beat the Green Queens!” — which sounds less like team names for a bunch of suburban 6-year-old girls and more like some kind of Mardi Gras-themed drag soccer event.

We really shouldn’t be surprised by how funny this is because of the team history of ridiculousness. For instance, there was the one time her coach, who has been with the girls for the duration, sent the following e-mails to all of the team parents the year the girls were the Yellow Bees:

Parents,

The fields are open. I will see you there. We will have many teams there, so parking might be interesting. Look for the guy in the yellow >censored<. That is our color this season. -- Coach Tom

Which was almost immediately followed by a second email:

That earlier e-mail was missing one very important letter. I will be wearing a yellow SHIRT (and a very red face!) -- Sorry, Tom

He is also the coach .

My daughter really loves soccer and has noticeably improved her skills and participation from . She really looks forward to her practices and games and has a lot of good friends on her team.

I might even venture to say she's having a ball.

Jeannine Miller May 02, 2012 at 02:56 PM
The team name selection must be universally hilarious. Ava's team chose Red Foxes, narrowly beating out Red Stripes, both names bringing smiles to the adults' faces.
Kathleen Canedo May 02, 2012 at 03:04 PM
I know. I contend that elementary school teachers and soccer coaches for the young teams must just have years and years worth of material.
Joe Brenchick May 02, 2012 at 03:06 PM
As a former U8, U9, U10 soccer coach/assistant coach, who’s daughter is now graduated from college, you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone...
Kathleen Canedo May 02, 2012 at 03:15 PM
Joe - I'm sure you have a ton of great stories from those years coaching.
Astra Groskaufmanis May 02, 2012 at 03:37 PM
Kathleen, this was hysterical. My daugher plays hockey as you migh recall from EBWW. Each year we have to come up with a team nickname, usually something to do with cats because our association has a 'wildcat' on its uniforms. Every single <expletive> year I have to a talk them out of "the cougars". One day they'll thank me, right?
Joan Greene May 02, 2012 at 03:58 PM
Ha! My daughters are on the "Green Queens" team!! I wondered what the purple team's name was. Glad I didn't ask at the time.
Kathleen Canedo May 02, 2012 at 04:41 PM
Astra - That's hilarious. They will definitely thank you one day! Joan - No way. I love that. And am very glad you did not ask about our team's name.
Tammy DiBlasi May 02, 2012 at 05:06 PM
When we were purple, we were very very close to being the Violet Femmes, but Purple Puppies carried the day!
Kathleen Canedo May 02, 2012 at 05:13 PM
Tammy - I'm loving the Violet Femmes! I'm sad that did not win. (And also sad I did not think to suggest it to the Big Purple Balls.)
Mimi Alonso May 03, 2012 at 03:54 AM
My daughter has been a Red Volcano Rose and now this year is a Pink Burrito!! They figured there were enough Pink Panthers out there and NO ONE would be a burrito. Think they were right!!
Kathleen Canedo May 03, 2012 at 12:23 PM
Mimi - These kids are totally creative -- I'm going to give them that. Look forward to the Pink Burrito/Big Purple Balls matchup this season.
Emily Korff May 16, 2012 at 08:02 PM
My older daughter was also one of the red volcano roses, and this season my younger daughter is a red "lava girl."
Kathleen Canedo May 17, 2012 at 12:17 AM
Love those names, Emily -- seriously, these kids are way more clever than my teams ever were.

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