On Feb. 13, MainStreet.com posted an article that ranked the wealthiest counties in the United States. And Fairfax County — home to Oakton, Virginia (as you know) — was listed as the second weathiest.
In the country. (And often with wealth comes a certain level of sophistication ... so take that also-rans Orange County and New York City County...nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah.)
I, of course, was alerted to this news by our Majordomo, who handles the pesky task of scanning the news for me and finding only the items he knows I will want to read. Master Canedo and I were nibbling on some toast points, Almas caviar and white truffles after spending the morning on our yacht (well … one of our yachts), and scoffing at how fuel costs have made it so much less cost-effective to travel to Palm Beach for party season on our private jet. (But still so worth it as we do not have to mingle with the unwashed hoi polloi.) We had decided we were going to spend the afternoon moving money around in our various off-shore accounts, as taxes are for suckers.
Seriously, though, it’s hilarious that as a resident of the second “wealthiest” county in the nation, I not only go to work at all, but do so in jeans most of the time. I also live in a '70s spilt-level house and buy used cars I drive for about 12 years before trading them in. That image really does not jibe at all with the findings and terminology in this report.
Don’t get me wrong, I am very thankful to live in an area with a very low unemployment rate and very high performing schools. But to deem an area “wealthy” based on high median income and home values without factoring in the cost of living is not based at all on reality. How is this information useful in any way? (Well, other than providing me with an opening line for my holiday card this year. “Happy Holidays from the Canedos — from our home in the second wealthiest county in the nation.”)
Which, actually, would still be less obnoxious than last year’s holiday card.
The company that produced this list apparently also provides an annual list of poorest, drunkest and laziest counties. Wow. That must be some tough research. Um ... any county with university students?
Frankly, I’d like to see more meaningful lists that really help people make a decision on whether they'd like to live in a particular county. What about a list that shows the counties with the highest concentration of people with body odor? Or counties with the most people who insist on using air quotes? Or counties with the fewest number of hipsters? These are the statistics that mean something.
And just for the record, Loudoun County leads the list of wealthiest counties, which totally makes sense. I’ve always known and oft-reported that Loudoun County has a tremendous wealth …
… of swingers.