What a Bunch of Animals

In honor of Father's Day on Sunday, my daughter and I presented her dad with the gift of an overnight stay at the National Zoo as part of the "Snore and Roar" program they offer. Because nothing says, "We love and appreciate you" more than making dad set up a tent surrounded by a dozen hyperactive children. And making him sleep on a leaky air mattress.

I say that like there is any other kind of air mattress.

I participated in a Snore and Roar overnight campout one other time with my friend and her mom. And as with any new adventure, this one taught me a lot about myself. For instance, I learned I am destined to forget a pillow every.single.time.I.go.camping. I also learned my freakishly
competitive nature does not wane simply because I am vying against 8-year-olds. Finally, I learned that when you show up at an activity geared toward families with children and you are three adult women who have opted to do this on a Saturday night, it does not say anything positive about your social lives.

When we registered for our Father's Day event, we didn't consider attendance for the animal lectures would be so clearly drawn along gender lines. The small mammal tour? Girl-a-palooza. The Reptile Discovery Center tour (in which our family participated)? Let's just say there was a lot of nose picking, snake poop jokes, much raucous laughter and high-fiving following the snake poop jokes, and then more nose picking.

But enough about the tour guide.

We got a private tour of the reptile house where some of the boys dubbed the constriction of rats by the large snakes the "Hug of Doom" and it was also where my daughter decided her favorite animal was the Komodo dragon, particularly when the guide told her it was native to Indonesia. Although, when she learned that, she turned to us and demanded in a very accusatory tone, "How come we didn't see any Komodo dragons when we were there?" (My standard response? "Because we are mean and never want you to have any fun.")

The next morning, we woke very early, packed up our tent and ate breakfast, eager to hear what the morning activity would be. And we quickly became un-eager when we learned it would be dissecting an owl "pellet." (One imagines the order of the breakfast/owl pellet study was deliberate, or perhaps based on comment card feedback after a less thoughtfully scheduled agenda during prior Snore and Roars.)

Enticing though it was, we skipped the morning poop dissection and headed home. (Though not before making a poop joke, high-fiving each other and laughing...raucously.)

Guess we were in the correct group, after all.