This week, our lovely little burg ranked No. 36 in the Top 100 places to live in the United States list created by Money magazine.
My husband and I have now lived in Oakton for more than 10 years, and we’d have to agree it is a fantastic place to live, though we might debate its placement that far down the list. I mean, sure, we did have a hiccup a couple of years ago when although the commonwealth of Virginia was found to be in the Top 10 porn-using states in this fine country of ours, Oakton actually came in dead last in terms of porn-using zip codes within the state. Additionally, we are (allegedly) in terms of “recreational” activities.
The minor transgressions aside, Oakton really has a lot going for it. As a matter of fact, I recently came across a fax I sent my husband soon after we got married and moved to Oakton. (Aside: A fax — how quaint. I wonder if I wrote it while cranking up the gramophone and sipping a sarsaparilla?) He was in Las Vegas with his friends for a weekend golf trip, and I wanted to remind him what he was missing in Oakton. He received the following fax from me at his hotel:
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Top 10 Reasons why Oakton is better than Vegas:
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10. ATMs in Oakton charge less than $10 per transaction
9. In Oakton, “crap” and “table” rarely make it into the same sentence
8. You never hear the words, “but it’s a dry heat” uttered in Oakton
7. If a girl hits on you in Oakton, chances are — it’s a girl
6. When you lose your entire life savings in Oakton, you can blame the dot.com you’re working for
5. No overplayed Sheryl Crow song titled “Leaving Oakton”
4. Two words: Celine Dion
3. Presidential interns way more adventurous than Vegas showgirls
2. When you get drunk in Oakton, you can’t wake up married
…and the number one reason Oakton is better than Vegas
1. [Removed for inappropriate content – even though “hard eight” is a GAMING TERM]
P.S. I was going to write something about “the house taking all your money,” but let’s be honest — that happens in Oakton, too. Viva Oakton!
P.P.S. By the way, the mortgage company called — it was hard to understand the message, but I think it was something about “second mortgage” and you “betting it all on red” — I may want to call them.
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I’m sure we all appreciate the acknowledgement from Money magazine and I hope that all of us Oaktonians can pull together to take over the responsibilities of “Best Place to Live” if the other 35 are unable to fulfill their duties for any reason.