Oh, What a Night
An evening of bathroom humor — though not in the way you might think
If you are ever presented the opportunity to discuss your bikini-area laser hair removal, family events where you saw your grandfather in boxer shorts and your parents driving through a car wash naked in front of a large group of people who you are then quite likely to run into at the local grocery store … I enthusiastically recommend doing so.
As a matter of fact, it is exactly what I did last Thursday night at the Vale Schoolhouse as a guest of Vale Club for an event that raised money for FamilyPASS. And I don’t mean to brag, but in those couple hours, we raised a tiny fraction of a percentage of a million dollars for the charity.
Because this was my first presentation as a humorist and that alone didn’t make me nearly nervous enough, I decided to up the stakes by inviting everyone I know. It was a bit surreal and kind of felt like I was at my own funeral when I looked out into the audience and saw people from all different stages of my life: former coworkers from four different jobs, neighbors, a college sorority sister, the Dilettantes, my mother-in-law and even a friend from elementary school.
Just before the event began, I excused myself to use the restroom in the schoolhouse, and the friend I was talking to said, "There are a lot of women in the restroom right now." I asked, "Oh? There’s a line?" and my friend replied, "No. There’s actually a group of women hanging out and chatting in the restroom." (There were. And they were drinking wine. And I immediately lost any nerves I had as I realized this was a group of people who would totally get me.)
And I have to say, from the moment it all started when the lovely Jeannine Miller gave me an introduction that was so nice I again felt like I was watching my own funeral, the entire evening was a blast — which might be surprising, considering I have now likened the event to a funeral two times.
Thanks to everyone who attended, laughed in all the right places, asked hilarious questions and made me feel so welcome. I'd chat any of you up in the ladies' room any time.
I'll even bring the wine.