We’ve all heard the statistics: In just a few short years, English will no longer be the predominant language spoken in the United States. Every business article I read encourages me to learn the new language so I will not be left behind when the entire communication landscape changes.
However, if I am to believe what I read on Facebook and in the blogs to which I subscribe, the predominant language has already changed.
To hipster.
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I see examples all the time:
- That’s such a gimmick = That is totally lame.
- You're a Herb = You are ancient (read: older than 30) and a complete dork.
- Ballin’ = To be livin’ large (e.g., drinking Four Loko and playing Wii). Note: Herbs are generally not found ballin’.
- Crits be crittin’ = I am not even going to pretend I have any idea what this means.
Frankly, I think I’d understand the language of another country much better than I do most of these terms. As it stands, I need a hipster/English dictionary just to keep up.
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This new vernacular has become so pervasive that just this past weekend, I texted a friend of mine after we got home from a party with the message, “It was great to see you, your dress was hott” (the two T's being my own attempt at hipster-ism). I know, I know. That’s such a gimmick.
However, my iPhone autocorrected this message to “your dress was hirt.” I didn’t realize this until a couple of days later and asked my friend if she wondered what in the world I meant by my comment. She told me she simply assumed this was a new word the kids were using, and accepted it as the compliment that was intended.
And it’s not enough that there are entirely new words and phrases, but also all of the spellings of even the familiar words are changed, too. Not only are many extraneous letters added to words (which I really don’t loooooooove), but others are changed to phoenetic spellings. My personal pet peeve: Letters are removed altogether and simply replaced by apostrophes. (I’m not lovin’ the ballin’ and the crittin’ and the livin’ large.)
This shorthand also causes another iPhone autocorrect issue. Just recently, a friend of mine texted her son after he missed his ride to say to him, “Walk to your friend’s house and I will pik u up later.” Clear enough, right?
Until autocorrect changed her message to, “I will oil you up later.”
Actually, I may not want to understand the new language, after all.